Grow The F*** Up.

*Disclaimer: This article is a blunt and honest acknowledgement, and should not be read by those whom may be sensitive to self-awareness. Viewer’s discretion is advised.*

Alright, Kings and Queens of the 21st century.

If you take a look around you, scan your social media handles, or even click on your entertainment apps, you’ll notice something quite noticeable. Millennials have been winning! It is amazing to see young people of all colors, from all over the globe creating their own lanes for their careers, and succeeding in doing it. The world is full of infinite industries and those of us in our 20’s are dominating. Even teenagers are creating their own brands based off of their own images or personalities, via apps like YouTube, Instagram, or Tik Tok.

My personal favorite thing about entrepreneurship in 2019, is seeing so many friends, family, and even former classmates of mine thrive in building their own brands. But I can’t help but notice one common hiccup:

The exponential growth and immediate wealth established at such a young age is ultimately creating a crack in our own self-growth.

Legally, at the age of 18 we are considered adults. At that age, we can buy our own cars, purchase our own homes, enlist in the military, and even buy firearms. All through out our adolescence, we wait to reach this specific age so that we gain such a level of freedom to make our decisions for ourselves. Once we reach this age, we go crazy. Well, at least I did.

At 18, I got every other tattoo I’ve ever wanted, I applied for several credit cards, and I signed myself up for a bunch of things I did not need. All of this ultimately resulted in me making a variety of terrible decisions. Yes, I was of age to make these dumb decisions, but I wasn’t mentally mature enough to handle the responsibility that came with my actions.

I see so many millennials of today making the same irresponsible, and at times irrational decisions. Even more so, I see young adults gaining so much financially, but still forgetting to develop themselves as people. The Jake Pauls of the country not only inspire young masses to create, but also mislead the younger demographic into aspiring to live superficial, unfulfilled lifestyles.

Size wise, the human brain stops growing during our adolescence. But, the human brain does not stop developing until the age of 25 years old.

This often forgotten fact leaves immature teens and young adults to only continue exhibiting infantile behavioral habits.

To be frank, I’ve come across plenty of assholes in my age demographic that fit this specification.

In my early 20s I dated a couple of financially matured young men. Mind you, these guys were the same age as me, but came into large sums of money fresh out of their undergraduate careers. These men knew how to pay a bill or two, how to buy lavish items, and felt completely confident about themselves due to the fact that they’ve become so successful at such a young age. But they all lacked the same thing: self- awareness. These young men genuinely thought that a few dollars, a nice car, and a plethora of luxury sneakers were all the things they needed to be “a man”. On the contrary, a couple of these guys couldn’t communicate through a disagreement properly, held no accountability for any of their actions, and felt as though they could do no wrong. The most common mistake a man or woman can make is believing they’ve got it all figured out.

No amount of financial security, nor success in your career can deem you a decent human being. Yeah, you can write a book on how you secured the bag. But what good is that when you’re mentally unhappy, wondering why you still feel a void.

Here’s the thing, y’all. It is okay to know that you still have some work to do. I find different things within myself regularly that I wish to improve on. That’s normal. It’s what you do after you find those hiccups that matters. For example, as a person I want be a little more patient and understanding of my loved ones lifestyles. Instead of neglecting the fact that there’s room for improvement, I practice making a change in my habits by focusing on the bigger picture and not the little things that ultimately don’t matter.

Understand that everyone has something they could improve on. You’re not alone.

I know for men particularly, especially within the black community, you are unspokenly expected to handle your hardships within yourself. I’m here to tell you that men are too, of course, allowed to be emotional. Mental health and self- awareness aren’t specific to one gender. If you need to release your feelings or what’s heavy on your heart, do so. Don’t be afraid to seek help in taking those step in building the better you.

Here’s a great way to kickstart:

Write down 5 things, unrelated to your career or occupation, that you’re confident within yourself about, right now. These are your “peaks”. Next, write down 5 things you want to work on building your confidence in, whether it’s saving money or learning how to listen to others. Make it personal to YOU. These will be your “hollows”. By the end of this month, you should have made it your job to flip those 5 hollows into peaks. Setting a deadline for yourself will not only hold yourself accountable to finish the task, but it will most importantly help create the change.

In short, everybody’s shit stinks. Some more than other’s. Are you going to keep covering it up with more air freshener, or are you going to change your diet in hopes that it fixes the smell?

Thanks for reading!

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