You lay in bed, after a long day and stare at the ceiling. Starting to play back your day from beginning to end, you go over the key details you think you may have missed in the moments they happened.
You start to over analyze every little brief moment of the conversation you had with your significant other that morning. You critique the efforts you made at work, and start to think you could’ve done better or done something different. You remember your co-worker giving you, what you think was a weird look, and you begin to wonder if there’s something up in the office.
You start to panic slightly, and question every encounter you had that day with every individual whom crossed your path.
Is your significant other mad at you? Are you going anywhere in your career? Is there an office joke between your co-workers about you?
Boom. Over thinking has officially taken over your mental peace.
The process of overthinking can be incredibly dangerous to your mindset. Finding it hard to shut off your brain at any given moment is the first sign that there may be a slight problem in your thought processing.
Here in the United States in 2019, we live in more complicated times that may cause us to exert a lot of brain power. Trauma, political controversy, financial hardships, and heavy responsibilities leave our brains exhausted on a daily basis.
Staying up throughout the night, over analyzing, or even living in fear create more over exertion of your brain’s thoughts.
Two major issues we as Millennials possess is the fear of failure, and second guessing ourselves.
Second Guessing Is NOT Ok..
73% of all 25-35 year old men and women are over-thinkers. Over half of that percentage are women. Surprise, surprise.
Social media has made it incredibly hard for us as individuals to feel as though we are good enough. Whether it’s our physical appearance, our financial status, or just our personalities, social media has ultimately made it harder for us to be…well.. ourselves.
At some point, all of us have looked at the way someone else’s life may have seemed to be going, and wished we could accomplish more for ourselves.
First thing’s first, most of the things we see on social media are bullshit. It’s not real. It’s not obtainable. You can’t hold yourself accountable for not being like something or someone that doesn’t really exist.
Over analyzing these artificial things will ultimately leave you beating yourself up, and that’s not healthy for your mentality.
Letting Go Of The Conversation
Continuously running back conversations and encounters you have with the people around you can and will lead you to conclusions that aren’t a reality.
I cannot even begin to stress how many times I’ve played back disagreements I’ve had with a boyfriend or close friend of mine that really didn’t need to be re-thought.
A lot of the time, I’ve brought back up the same conversation several times until I felt there was no confusion between both parties. This is completely unhealthy and unnecessary, y’all. Good communication involves both parties sharing their point of view, being open and honest, and working together to resolve the conflict with a solution. You sit down, you hash it out, and you move on. Period.
The more you play the re-runs, the less the other person will want to keep watching the same episode.
Trust me, you can lose a great friend or significant other by making them ride that overthinking roller coaster with you.
Living in Fear
Living in fear altogether can lead you to overthinking.
My biggest fears: not living up to my full potential, and never being good enough for my significant other.
I know, the second one sounds ridiculous, and it is. Fears are a figment of an extracurricular imagination.
My fears, just like others, are in my head.
The only way I will not reach my full potential is if I allow that fear to prevent me from doing so. Caving into that negativity will only result in me not giving life my all to succeed, and essentially be happy.
So let’s talk about that second fear of mine: not being good enough.
Obviously I am, as are we all, good enough. We’re all flawed human beings. If you don’t think you’re flawed, well buddy, ya are.
You first have to be able to accept yourself for who you are, understand that you’ve made mistakes, and you deserve the best anyway. My fear of not being enough isn’t about my partner not appreciating me, it’s about me appreciating and loving myself.
I love the shit out of myself, and you should too. Trust me, I struggle with it at times. I get hard on myself, as we all do at times. But we do our best, we learn, and we move on. That’s just the way the cookie crumbles.
Overthinking has truly become the epidemic of our mindsets, America. It’s the crappy pain we didn’t ask for, that keeps on throbbing. Be the medicine for your own frustration.
If you find yourself unable to stop the thoughts yourself, find a few coping mechanisms. Marijuana and CBD products relieve anxiety, and slow down your urge to overthink. Exercise releases endorphins to promote more positive thinking, as does (safe) sex. Healthy hobbies created the opportunity for you to put all that thinking energy into a productive place.
Don’t let your own criticism and self-judgement deter you from seeing yourself for the true Conqueror you are. You’re amazing.