Moments in Motivation #5:
Unintentionally, we as business people tend to prefer to do business with people we like. That generally makes sense, considering you wouldn’t want to work with someone you can’t even tolerate. Dealing with workplace friendships and personal friendships can be very synonymous to one another. But maintaining personal friendships can and will take a lot more effort than any business friendships will. Personal friends are the family we choose for ourselves. At times, these committed friendships may be the only form of family we have. For this reason it is important that we as young adults can determine the real from the fake, and as soon as possible. The longer you maintain unhealthy friendships or relationships, the further that toxicity will keep you from reaching your true happiness and ultimate success.
When I was in grade school, I viewed friendships as a gum ball machine. The more gum balls in the machine, the better chance an individual has of getting their desired flavor. A basic probability theory. I, at the time, found it more ideal to have as many friends as possible. Not only did I want to be seen as a ‘popular girl’ in my school, but I figured the more options of friends I had the better chance I had of actually finding a genuine one. While this theory did somewhat work for me at the time, it left me with a lot of unprecedented situations at hand. Although my self exposure to so many different people and friendships never left me lonely, it ultimately exposed me to disingenuous people who posed no value to my life.
Unfortunately, it took several years for me to learn that not everybody had the best intentions when coming into my life. It can be incredibly easy to get angry or bitter towards those that do not fulfill the expectations you have set for them. But you cannot let the counterfeit people who pass through your life to define you, or your ultimate success. Even counterfeit money passes the visual test until the bank realizes it can’t be validated. They may have fooled you initially, but their invalid intentions can’t and won’t overcome your authenticity.
Here are a few clues that will help you determine the real from the not so genuine:
- Genuine friends support your dreams and endeavors. Although your friends may not always relate to your passion or your business ventures, they will support you regardless because they believe in you.
- When someone hurts you, it hurts them. One of my absolute best friends will visibly get upset when she knows I’ve been hurt or disrespected. At times, I find it quite funny because she will be more upset than I initially am. Nonetheless, she has my back without me even having to ask. That is a real friend.
- They let you be yourself. If you can’t be yourself around your friends or your significant other, that may not be the relationship for you. Your genuine friends will undoubtedly accept you and all of your weird quirks.
- You both can constantly keep in contact. Healthy, long-lasting friendships survive through individuality. No matter what you and your friends may be doing or where you may be, you all make it a mission to keep in contact with one another. I have friends in Alabama and back home in Texas, that though it may not be everyday nor every week, we still make it a point to check in with one another. In the moments where we finally reconnect in person, we have so much fun with one another, it feels as though we were never even apart.
- They have the willingness to forgive. Every friendship and relationship will have its ups and downs. Being able to communicate effectively, and come to a solution of forgiveness after every disagreement is how you know that friend truly cares. The inability to emotionally reconnect after an argument is the main reason friendships don’t last. Although you may not agree nor completely understand where they are coming from, your love for them and commitment to your friendships will make it possible for you to forgive a temporary mistake.
Fake friendships are inevitable.
Unhealthy relationships will take their course.
Your true growth will be determined by whether or not you have the ability to remove yourself from these toxic friendships. Let’s get to cutting out the cancer of our lives, Conquerors. After all, if you had to cut these toxic friends out of your life chances are they handed you the scissors.
Thanks for reading!